Corresponding with Spring

Dear My Long Lost Friend, Spring,

How are you this year? It's been AGES since I've seen you. I kind of forget what you look like! I mean, do you come with sunshine and a little bit of rain? Is there lots of green and growing things? Will I be able to take off my long underwear and winter coat when you get here? Will I be able to open the windows in my apartment without catching my death of a cold? Will I be able to enjoy walking to school with you again? I need you to hurry up and get here so that I can have these questions answered. Please don't keep me wondering and wondering. I can't sleep because I keep thinking about how great it will be when you get here.

I'm really not trying to rush you or anything.

Actually, I am trying to rush you. I've been dealing with your cousin, Winter, for far too long, and frankly, he's not that nice. I don't really like him. He has a bad temper, is bitter, and is making me miserable. I don't want to live with him anymore. Please don't make me. He's not that bad when he lets me have some big, beautiful snowflakes, but he really isn't all that generous, so I didn't get to enjoy them very much while he's been here.

Also, he won't stay outside where he belongs. He keeps coming inside and making everything all cold and miserable like he owns the place. What is that? Can't he learn better manners? I'm not one to complain (clearly that's not true, but work with me), but Winter is overstaying his welcome. Let me just lay out my complaints against him for you, my dear Spring, to see:

1. He left my feet with signs of frostbite
2. He makes me wear at least 4 layers of clothing everyday.
3. I have to re-wear socks several days in a row (to much info??) because I HAVEto wear wool socks everyday.
4. He kept me sick for, oh... 4 months?
5. He made me want to move to Darwin where it's constantly hot. I mean, I've never heard anything about Darwin other than the fact that its hot and yet, I couldn't get it off my mind.
6. I had to hold a mug of hot water constantly in order to maintain feeling in my fingers while at school.
7. I didn't get to show off my cute sweaters to anyone because I was constantly wearing a huge coat.
8. I had to bake banana bread and brownies all the time to stay warm. (This doesn't seem like a complaint, does it? Please refer to #9)
9. I had to run on a treadmill in order to not get fat from eating banana bread and brownies.
10. I can't really think of another good complaint, but a list of 10 is so much better than a list of 9. Don't you think?

Surely you agree, this can't go on any longer. Won't you please come and save me? Challenge him to a duel. Kick is icy butt! I promise I'll be good. I won't complain about the rain you bring or about chilly mornings. I'll be happy and thankful, like a good girl! Really, I will! Cross my heart.

Just one more thing. Just a little question. A tiny one. No big deal. Aren't you late? I mean, I could have sworn you were supposed to be here already. I don't think I have a perfect memory, though some of my friends would say I do, (Name that movie!) but I seem to recall that the end of March is your time to visit. The calendar says so. Don't shoot the messenger, the calendar told me to tell you. So yea, where are you?

Hopefully you receive this correspondence promptly and can rectify the situation. I'd be most obliged to have you here and for you to send Winter packing.

Your ever faithful and somewhat impatient friend,

Emily